I’ve been innocent since my childhood. I remember my parents, especially my mother, used to share some of my childhood memories in which she used to mention how the colony children used to fool me. They used to use me in every possible ways and at the end of day I was left alone.
I remember few things too. I remember there was one time during my school days when I was not having a single friend. I used to talk to the fellow class mates in school but never allowed them to be as close as friend. The reason I give is that I want to be choose a good friend and not some Tom Dick or Harry. But, I think I was scared of getting fooled again. May be I was tired of being fooled again and again. Whatever the reason may be but the thing was clear that I lived the life of loneliness for quite some years. Then I got a friend with whom I used to chat a lot and who used to call home too. That brought a relief to my parents, especially my mother, as I was finally getting calls. But I suppose that didn’t last for more years. I don’t know the reason; neither do I want to know. I was again left alone in my world.
During my pre-college days, I mixed up with my classmates as they used to come at my home for tuitions. This again allowed me to mix up with them. This time, it wasn’t a single person I was dealing with rather it was a group. A group where I was the prey and they were hunters, not all for sure as exceptions do exists. There I was used to the fullest and in the language of a commerce student, the maximum utilization was done. I, like any other time, was unaware till the utilization was complete. After everything was done, I understood the whole scene as I was started being ignored and people started talking about bad about me. Then I got that when the college is over, my use is complete so now they can speak all bad about me, openly and loudly.
Then the same repeated during my college days. Now, when I think about those incidences with a cool mind, the result which I get is, after being used by so many times, people still want to use me. Then I must be having something good that is not finishing so soon that they are attracted towards me. But this is what we call being optimistic approach to any situation. Well, I don’t want to optimistic anymore and now want to try my hand in being pessimistic. Now, when I see the whole situation, I find another result, which I think and believe is the fact. Till these years, I was being a good guy. A good person who believed in helping the friends and speaking mind in a polite way. The guy who used never cheated or used any person as this was against the rules of being good. Who used to think that there is no harm in helping others and used to be away from all sorts of politics. But ultimately was the victim all kinds of politics. Who thought that inner beauty is far more important than the outer good looks? Now, I find all my goody-goody things as crap. This all, I suppose, were used to be in this earth millions years ago and in today’s world they are good as money makers by some baba or to impress some old people. I have faced the bitter reality of world where when I expressed my emotions which are true and pure; people turned their head and left me alone. Where I helped as friend and they used me just as a product. Where I have friends in my Facebook account but no one has time to comment or chat with me; but at the same time will comment on others with full enthusiasm. I would really like to thank this modern techno-social gathering where the real face of people is visible; the reality of the world is speaking loud.